Count Binface Bust
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His Binifinence, Count Binface
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Model information
- Source
- Printables
- Category
- People
- License
- Creative Commons — Public Domain
"My lords! My ladies! Silence for the champion of Clacton-on-Sea!
He rides not upon a horse, but upon the WILL OF THE PEOPLE — I give you COUNT BINFACE!
Hear his pledges, and TREMBLE with civic joy!
He shall nationalise GREGGS, that all men might eat sausage rolls as EQUALS!
He shall rename Big Ben — henceforth to be known throughout the realm as BIG BEN BIN!
He shall install FREE PUBLIC WIFI from Clacton Pier to the furthest reaches of the Essex coastline, that no man go unconnected!
He shall NEGOTIATE THE WEATHER ITSELF, securing guaranteed sunshine for the good people of Clacton, world without end!
He shall build upon this sacred shore — A SPACEPORT! For Clacton shall launch rockets where once it launched only seaside donkeys!
He shall force every sitting Member of Parliament to REAPPLY FOR THEIR OWN JOB, that accountability might return to this fair land!
And he does this NOT for gold, NOT for glory, but because SOMEONE, in this cursed election, had to stand against the OTHER fellow —
I give you, people of Clacton — your future member of parliament, ambassador from beyond the stars, sworn foe of Nigel from Nowhere —
COUNT! BIN! FAAAAACE!"